Through His boundless love for humanity, the Lord bestows upon each person an abundance of blessings and gifts. One of these unique gifts is the gift of sincere friendship. Inspired by the genuine friendships that daily bring me joy and confer many blessings, I dedicate this week’s entry for the “Editor’s Pen” column to the theme of friendship. Unfortunately, this topic receives little attention, and the era in which we live has introduced many deviations that erode true and genuine friendships.
Love and friendship are a unified gift from God. Some may wonder how love and friendship can be united in one truth and reality. Addressing His disciples, the Lord referred to them as “my beloved’ or “my friends.” For Him, love and friendship are a force. Therefore, friendship cannot exist without love, and love cannot exist without friendship. If people love one another, they must also engage in fellowship. And if they engage in fellowship, they cannot help but love each other. Friendship is built on trust, and without trust among people, friendship cannot exist.
Friendship always and without exception implies a willingness to sacrifice. The Lord declared at the Last Supper: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13). Our Lord considers all people His friends, which is why He commanded us: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35). From this commandment of the Saviour, we see that friendship is not only a gift but a fundamental human need. The imperative of friendship is that we treat one another as the Lord treats us.
Friendship is a profound joy and a treasure for the soul. Christianity has conferred limitless value on friendship, elevating it to the level of utmost sacrifice. This kind of friendship was taught, exemplified, and implemented by our Saviour Jesus Christ during His earthly life. The Lord demonstrates the highest form of friendship to every person, offering a perfect hand of friendship to all. In Christianity, friendship has blossomed like a rose of grace, humility, benevolence, and love. It is an essential component of the Christian life. The Saviour told His disciples: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15).
Saint John Chrysostom teaches about friendship: “A friend is more desirable than life itself. Many people, after the death of their friends, have prayed to God to end their own lives. Indeed, a friend is dearer than the light of day. It would be better for us to lose the sun than to be deprived of a friend.”
Aristotle also reflects on friendship, stating: “Those who love their friend, love what is good for him. When a good person becomes a friend, he brings goodness to the one he befriends. Each loves what is good for themselves, reciprocating in both desire and delight. For it is said, ‘friendship is equality’ – and this applies most to friendship between good people.”
Saint Gregory the Theologian offers this insight on the gift of friendship: “A faithful friend is a soul-bearing treasure, a closed garden, a sealed fountain that opens at the right time. I call friends those who are good, beautiful, and united to us by virtue.” Saint Nektarios of Aegina continues this thought: “A true friend Is a mighty protection, and whoever finds one has found a treasure. A friend is the greatest happiness. A good friend is priceless, more precious than any wealth. Their beauty is unmatched. A friend remains the same in misfortune and joy. A true friend praises what is praiseworthy and openly rebukes what is blameworthy.”
We modern Christians face a crucial question: are we clothed in the white garments of Christian virtues, and are we recognizable by them? Do others, seeing us, recognise God within us? As Christians, we are called to be “the light of the world” (Matthew 5:14). To shine with God’s light, we must be connected to, immersed in, and deified by God. If we want others to recognise Christ in us, we must show the fruits of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23). The Apostle Paul instructs: “Let your gentleness be known to all men.” (Philippians 4:5).
In love, all other virtues are bound and crowned, including friendship, which is always the fruit of sincerity and love. Whether in good times or in hardship, the hand of a friend is there. A friend’s love multiplies the good in our lives and offers solace during trials and difficulties.
In today’s world, the spirit of egoism, individualism, self-sufficiency, and often selfishness prevails. Can genuine and true friendship be forged in such an anti-Christian atmosphere? The answer is: Yes, it is possible – if the friendship is founded on the truths of the Gospel. Only such a friendship has a future.
The definition of such a pure, Gospel-based friendship might read: I am patient with you, because I love you and want to forgive you everything. I am kind to you because I love you and want to help you. I do not envy what you have or your talents, because I love you and want you to have the best. I do not boast about my achievements, because I love you and want to hear about you successes. I am not proud, because I love you, and want to uplift you above myself. I am not rude, because I love you and care about your feelings. I am not self-centered because I love you and want to meet your needs. I do not get easily angered with you, because I love you and want to overlook your faults. I do not keep a record of your wrongs, because I love you, and love covers a multitude of sins.
In our regular personal and communal prayers, we should add a prayer for friendship. We should pray not only for our friends as individuals, but for the gift of friendship itself, asking the Lord to bless and strengthen our friendships now and in eternity. Let us pray that our friendships reflect the friendship of the Lord with the righteous Lazarus of Bethany or with the Holy Apostle John. On the tombstone of the Holy and Righteous Lazarus, found a few years ago, the inscription reads not “Lazarus of Bethany,” “Lazarus, brother of Martha and Mary,” or “Lazarus, Bishop of Larnaca,” but “Lazarus – Friend of Christ.” May this perfect, eternal friendship be a model and guide for all earthly friendships. By: Catechist Branislav Ilić, Editor of the “Kinonia” Portal
